The first attack of the year

Today on my way into the grocery store, a large, black flying bug with a surrounding silhouette of wings and antennae flew in dangerous proximity past my shoulder, this-close to my hair. Any girl who grew up in Fort McMurray and experienced a June-bug-in-hair incident can relate to my panicked feeling, complete with a jump in my heart rate and urge to run to safety with flailing arms.

On my way out of the store, the bug was on a revenge mission after missing me the first time. My eyes darted around the parking lot and suddenly, there he was – flying straight towards me. Using my mom-sized purse as a shield, I awkwardly dodged the bug like a really tall ninja, going, “eeeeeee – yuck – yuck – yuck” and so forth. With the whole scene seemingly in slow motion, the five second attack seemed to last minutes until the exhausted bug back-flipped and landed on the pavement. I ran with flailing arms to safety in my car.

June bugs. I love to hate them. Funny the first attack should happen today – June 1st.

So uncalled for

The day of the Edgewater Court fire in April, the Regional Emergency Operations Centre (REOC) was activated. That means people from all over the municipality (fire, police, family services) meet in one room in response to a disaster, and stay there until sufficient disaster relief has taken place.

Anyhow, I had to cover Communications for a half hour or so. I walked into the room of about 25 people, and upon my entrance, an older, shorter fire guy happened to be walking by. He stopped in his tracks, looked up at me with bulging eyes and yelled, "JESUS CHRIST!"

Now the running joke is whenever you are caught by surprise or astonishment, you must yell, "JESUS CHRIST!" as loud and as fast as you can get it out.

Someone throws you a surprise party... "JESUS CHRIST!"

You accidentally choose the Hard level on Dance Dance Revolution... "JESUS CHRIST!"

You open your electricity bill and it is lower than expected... "JESUS CHRIST!"

Your favorite song comes on the radio... "JESUS CHRIST!"

You get my drift.

Springtime in the ‘hood

I planted seeds in a mini-greenhouse in my living room and within a few days they had grown into baby plants! They won’t have flowers for a little while yet, but I am in love with them, with their fragile yellowish-green stems and mini leaves. A few days ago I also planted tomato seeds so I’ll see how those turn out.

The warm weather has increased pedestrian traffic on my condo block - specifically, a few mentally challenged individuals from a few houses down. I’m not just saying that – they are in fact mentally challenged. One particular individual named Terrence has developed a crush on me so he feels it is necessary to come to my door at least once a day to say “hi”. Or follow me from my car to my door, and try to follow me inside my house. If I am in the backyard, within five minutes he drives up on his bicycle and lets himself in through the gate.

Now don’t get me wrong. I am nice to him and my roommates and I let him hang out with us sometimes, but once is all it took for him to feel welcome enough to barge in any old time he wants. So now we are faced with a dilemma: how do we set boundaries without being mean about it? We’ve told him nicely a few times, “not today Terrence, we are just about to have dinner,” or “Nicole isn’t home right now,” but he is very persistent.

Even when big ol’ Monte said in his naturally intimidating voice, “Terrence, it is time for you to go home now” and Terrence hung his head in disappointment and slowly walked out of the yard, he was back the very next day with the same hopeful grin on his face.

Sigh. I guess that’s what happens when you live in the ghetto. I'm an educated fool with money on my mind… okay, enough of that.

The delicious smells of barbequed hamburgers and steak in the neighbourhood that we all envy are now coming from my house. No longer will my roommates, The Boy and I sit in the backyard breathing in the mouth-watering scents of these delectable foods with discouraged attitudes – I am a new barbeque owner! The Boy bought me a kick-ass meat-cooking machine for my birthday and I actually learned how to use it! The push-button flame starter is a gift from heaven, as are the tasty meals we have been cooking up ever since.

Add to all this the disappearance of snow and fresh smells in the air, then subtract the amount I’ve been working lately, and all-in-all it’s been a great spring so far.

And we all lived happily ever after. The End.