Five Characteristics of Highly Annoying Airline Passengers

1. They overflow their seat.
2. They hog your armrest.
3. They stink.
4. They listen to their iPod loud enough to share it with you.
5. They have a truly enjoyable flight, oblivious to your high level of irritation and discomfort.

I had the pleasure of sitting next to a garlic-breathed mammoth on my most recent flight, who besides elbowing me several times while digging through his skin-tight pockets, exhaled deeply every five minutes to remind me of the contents of his dinner-to-repel-vampires.

His big arm, cloaked in bally, itchy fleece material, permanently stationed itself on my one and only armrest (the downside of a window seat) and half into my sitting area, forcing me to curl up against the fuselage in retreat of my personal space being invaded. The weight of his massive limb was so great that my Westjet TV controls gave way and the screen contrast turned all the way down so the screen was off.

Whoever says emergency exit seats are the roomiest – think again – you are forced to sit next to freak-sized humans possessing no regard for their neighbours’ personal comfort.

Some hints for annoying airline passengers: tuck in your gangly appendages, suck on a mint, and if you listen to your iPod with the volume turned all the way up, play something other than Amanda Marshall.