Daddy's Little Girl

A post for all my girls: I am seriously deprived of girl chat so I am going to write this as if I had your gleaming, attentive faces looking at me while I tell this story. I have no way of gauging if it is interesting at all, but I hope at the very least it will serve to update you on my recent adventures with The Boy.

Last Thursday evening, him and I were hanging out at my place because Monte (my dad) was out drinking. A plan was put in place due to Monte’s serious aversion to any boy being home alone with one of his daughters: we parked The Boy’s car a few houses down the street so when Monte came home he wouldn’t know The Boy was over; that way, I could sneak him out after Monte passed out. (We had successfully done this once before so assumed it would go smoothly again.)

Well, Monte came home around 9:30 pm so The Boy and I quickly went into my room, as if I were already in bed sleeping. But for some reason Monte - and if you knew him you’d know how odd this is – invited a friend over to have a drink with him. “Monte” and “friend” are not usually two words you see in the same sentence, but alas there were two old guys up drinking whiskey in the kitchen, blocking any escape routes.

I don’t know how long they were up - all I know is that The Boy and I fell asleep to their voices between 1:00 and 2:00 am. “Don’t worry,” I whispered in the dark before we fell asleep. “I’ll sneak you out in the morning when Dad’s still sleeping.” (As an aside, I will mention how happy I was about having The Boy sleep next to me, in all his good-smelling-ness and furnace-like warmth.)

Unfortunately, fear sank itself into my brain that night: my dreams were scattered with scenarios of Monte finding The Boy in my room. Some of the outcomes were good, but most were bad. When my alarm went off at 6:30 am, I woke up in full mission-mode: get The Boy out without waking up Monte.

Well – Monte was already awake. If anyone can drink whiskey until all hours of the night and then wake up for the 6:00 am news, it’s my dad. With Monte in front of the TV in the living room, there was no way The Boy could sneak through the kitchen, out the back entrance, then past our front bay window to get to his car without being seen or heard. Now it was time for some creative thinking.

After a shower and several whispered changes to the plan, he successfully snuck out of the back entrance, walked along the neighbor’s property in the opposite direction of his car, and to the corner where I picked him up in my car. Since he still had to get his car, which was on the other side of the house and required passing in front of Monte and the bay window with no curtains, we grabbed a coffee then parked back at the corner on the edge of my block and went over the final stages of the plan. I handed him some clothing: “Put on this toque and then this hoodie – and put the hood up,” I instructed. The disguise had to be believable – he couldn’t look anything like himself because Monte would see him walk by the house. “Walk kind of like this, with your hands shoved in your pockets and like it’s really cold,” I demonstrated. (I was truly hoping The Boy didn’t think I did this kind of thing all the time.)

Luckily this time Monte didn’t catch us, and I was still Daddy’s Little Girl.

Unfortunately that image didn’t last long because the next time The Boy slept over, our scheme wasn’t so successful. But I’ll save that story for another post.